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A Pathless Land
As we grow, the ego or personality coalesces around a sense of agency. To be somebody is to have the capacity to make things happen, to take control of a situation and shape it to the dictates of my will. Politicians and entrepreneurs—experts at making things happen—are regarded as powerful, important people who are successful in life. We often admire such people because they accomplish big things and are rewarded for it with fame, status, and money. And yet this same conviction—that I am in essence an actor who can and must make things happen by exerting my will—becomes a prison. Ironically, the only desire as persistent and fundamental as the desire to act out of self-interest in order to achieve some goal and reap the benefits is its exact opposite: the desire to be free of the burden of the self and its endless fretting over status or money or power. But the more I long to be free of myself, the more such freedom eludes my grasp, because that very longing comes to define and therefore strengthen the ego.
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